


TEAM CRIME

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Gen, Infinity War, Loki and Nebula being pals, TEAMS!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 08:19:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13655124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: Nebula decides that she will not put up with the condescension and bad looks from some of the Avengers, and together with Loki decides to create her own team to fight Thanos.It's more successful than expected.





	TEAM CRIME

This was the third rotten look Barton had thrown her way that morning, and Nebula had enough. 

"I've had enough." She said. "I want to finish Thanos and I know that you people can be helpful, but it's been enough with the bad looks, the threats, the disgusted faces. I want my own team."

She got up and faced the rest of them, glad to be putting however little distance. 

"Nebula...." Gamora started, but her sister's look of rage stopped her and anyone else who might have any objections to her idea. They knew better than to make her angrier than she already was.

"There wil be two leaders in my new team. Myself and him." She said, pointing at Loki, who just grinned. 

"Oh, thank you, you are a life saver." And so he got up and stood next to Nebula, while looking at the others. "Yes, I tried to take over you world and you don't like me, I get it! No need to be so mean for so long when we're supposed to be on the same side, honestly."

Loki and Nebula smiled to each other, and this was the first time most of them had seen Nebula smile. It was a terrifying sight. 

"We will continue working to bring down Thanos, but on our own terms." She said. "No fake morality, no condescension. We've had enough of that."

"Now, dearest Nebula, I know that we are perfectly capable to bring down that madman on our own, but are there any mortals in here that you'd like to save from the fate of this boring team and give the joy of our company?"

"It so happens that there are, handsome."

They looked only for a moment, and the decision was made.

"Lang." Loki started, with his soft whispery voice. "We could use a thief, especially one with you abilities, and your knowledge of Earth's machinery."

"And someone who knows Terra." Nebula added.

"How would you like to join us?"

Scott's eyes widened to unknown proportions. They were choosing him first? Before anyone else? They knew about what he did, about his past, and they were choosing him because of it and not despite it, without any judgement... He had to say yes. 

"Sorry guys, but most of you don't even know my name, or what I do. You probably won't miss me too much. And could I bring my pal Luis?"

"Smoothie machine man? Most certainly, Mr. Lang."

And then Loki was whispering something into Nebula's ear and she nodded. Oh, boy. 

"Mr. Barnes" he began "unlike the three of us, you didn't choose a life of crime, but rather were forced into it, into becoming this mindless assassin. Regardless, there are people in this team who will only see you as the Winter Soldier, who will forever mistrust for who you used to be, who will always resent you for what you did. It is our understanding-"

"No more sweet talk needed, guys." Bucky said, getting up and joining Scott. "I'm with you. Let's do whatever it takes to end this."

"You will not regret it." Nebula said, with another of his scary smiles. "You, Maximoff, you started working against the Avengers, right?" They needed more badass women in their team, and she was most certainly not going to include Gamora. 

"I don't know...."

"I understand your reluctance, Miss Maximoff." Loki said. "But remember that I have been doing magic for centuries, and I could teach you things about your powers no one else on Earth could or would want to teach you."

It was simply too tempting. Wanda sometimes (often) struggled to understand or control her powers, and a good part of her team mates were scared of what she could do and didn't help at all. This was a chance she couldn't pass up. 

Steve was kind of sad. 

"That's half my team!"

Bucky, Wanda, Scott?? And he was left with all of Stark's entourage he had had fought not so long ago? There was a lot of bad blood in there and there the only real ally he had left in the non-criminal team were Natasha and Sam... Not enough. 

Loki threw an imploring look Nebula's way.

"The soldier? No way!"

"But do you know how he became a soldier? Lying and forging documents in several cities! And when his friend was in trouble, rather than defending him in court, he became a fugitive and helped him elude justice. He's been considered a war criminal, Nebula!"

"And I brought down an intelligence agency once." Steve said, not exactly sure why he wanted on the crime team so bad. 

"All right, only because Loki says you're acceptable. But this is our team, all right, not yours."

Steve smiled and got up, went next to Bucky. 

"Understood."

"Can I....." It was Rocket, already gathering his things, and standing up. 

"Sure." Nebula said. "You'll like Rocket" she told Loki. "He's smart like you and has very few limits regarding what's acceptable or decent. And makes a lot of out of place jokes."

"Welcome to the team."

And then someone else tried to chip in.

"I...used to be sell weapons for a living..."

"Feeling left out, Mr. Stark? Well, I'm sorry, but like Nebula said this is our team, and we wouldn't have someone boss us around on account of being more intelligent, or better with technology, or more charming. You have people's love and you often think you have the moral high ground. This is not your team." Nebula said and Tony did, indeed feel left out. He was used to been the first person chosen, not the last, or not chosen at all. 

Loki looked at all this people who had chosen to go with him, and who accepted him as a leader. Ah, sweet victory. 

"As for the rest: Miss Romanoff, you are too much like Gamora, and we're not having older siblings outshine us in our own team; neither of us likes Strange, and although I wouldn't mind having Banner, as he's done fairly shady stuff in the name of science, the Hulk hates me, and I'll never be able to properly breathe again after the beating he gave me."

"Sorry, man!"

"None of the other Guardians works too well, either. Quill on a good day maybe, but he's staying with Gamora."

"All right, people, we're off! We'll come back when your asses need saving." Rocket said, and in a cloud of green mist, they were gone.

Stark was puzzled. 

"..... did we just lose half of our people because we looked bad at some former criminals?"

Thor smiled. 

"I should have warned you, my brother is kind of sensitive with what is said about him.... And very good at convincing people."

"I've noticed."

"I have cheated in exams!" a youthful voice said, belonging to one Peter Parker. "I once copied a whole essay from Wikipedia and got away with it! I wanna be cool too! And bad! Guys!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked!!
> 
> Feedback brightens my day!


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